I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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