Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
