somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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