I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
