I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We need to rekindle our bromance
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
