Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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