More tranny stories later!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
