Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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