Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
