Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
