Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
