Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
