I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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