last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
