we're blogging at a bar
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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