Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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