THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We got so high we made milksteak
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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