Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
