okay pat passed out under dana's car
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize