so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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