You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
