why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
