I'm gonna have a badass scar
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize