i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
