Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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