Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
