no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
