when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
