there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
