He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
