I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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