only if we run a train.
done.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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