Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize