i think my mom watched the whole time
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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