I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
from now on my penis is your penis
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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