yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
