Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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