There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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