no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
