i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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