it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
