I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
