This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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