I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
