i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Enjoy the penises
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
