I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
