Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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