so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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