escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.