I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?