Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.