Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.