Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.