I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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