I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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