I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
