is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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