My room smells like vodka and shame
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
