haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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