So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
