His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
