Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
