a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
