somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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