Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
