then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This is not my ceiling
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We named our party play list daddy issues
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
