sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
