Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
