why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
