She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
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But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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