I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
