This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
